From Fanfiction Writers
by DarkHorseBlueSky
Summary: The Guardians get fanmail too. Here you can ask any ROTG character any question you want! Rated T for the personal paranoia of the constantly paranoid author. *SUGGESTION INBOX CLOSED –– please don't send me any more, otherwise I might drown again...*
1. I Fear This To Be The First Of Many

**Hey guys! Sup?**

**Okay, so I'll get down to biz.**

**While updating Dear Fanfiction Writers –– which I will still be doing regularly, chillax! –– I get a lot of great questions and even responding letters. And then I got the awesome idea from KoalaCupcake to have the letters that the Fanfiction writers send...**

**So I present to you the first, and definitely the shortest, installment of From Fanfiction Writers!**

* * *

Dear North,

When was the last time you shaved?

Sincerely, DarkHorseBlueSky

* * *

Dear DarkHorseBlueSky,

Um...er...no comment?

Ah...I lost count.

Sincerely, North

* * *

**This one I'll update once a week unless there is an overflow of suggestions. Saturday will be my first official update day.**

**Suggestions?**


	2. The Guinea Pig Chapter

**Whoa! Hold your horses, people! That's a heckuva lot of suggestions! Too many to wait til Saturday...whoa!**

**Okay, now I'll explain why this chapter is called the Guinea Pig Chapter: it's a test. Just to see how I'm doing. You, my readers, are the ones who shall give me the results.**

**And I had to switch up the format of the letters a bit...just because doing otherwise would make it very confusing.**

* * *

From FrozenGamer27:

Dear Tooth,

When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Tooth replied:

Hmm...I recall that one time Jack tried getting me to eat this small pink object called a "cupcake"...

But I could literally SMELL the tooth-rotting sugar radiating from it, so I didn't eat it.

Is that to which you refer?

* * *

From Monkey D. Writer:

Dear Jack,

Do you know what yaoi is?

Jack replied:

*shivers in horror*

Yes.

I've read some of those things you've said about me and Bunny, or me and Pitch, et cetera.

*shivers again*

* * *

From KoalaCupcake:

Dear Jack,

Have you ever seen the movie Rise of the Guardians? If so, what did you think?

Jack replied:

Me? Not yet, but some of the others have...you would NOT believe how much Pitch complains about the size of his nose and his lack of eyebrows.

* * *

From AllieSnow (Guest):

Dear Jack,

What are the names of the other three seasons and do you four get along?

Jack replied:

*gasp*

You know about the other three?!

DarkHorseBlueSky replied:

That, my fanfic-writing friends, is for _you _to invent. Either that or it's Dreamworks's job, and they haven't done that yet.

* * *

From XphiaDP (Guest):

Dear Jack,

What do you think of the many crazed fangirls out there?

Jack replied:

I was mobbed once by them when ice skating...

Yow. They're fierce, I'll tell you that much.

If Pitch ever comes back for revenge, I'm using them as my personal army.

* * *

From DarkHorseBlueSky:

Dear All My Awesome Suggester-Peoples,

What the heck is up with Jack?!

Why him?!

* * *

From 12snow-flame12:

Dear Bunny,

Why do you look like a kangaroo if you're a bunny?

Bunny replied:

I DON'T.

I just have a cool accent. Jealous?

* * *

All of the following are from madsthenerdygirl:

Dear Tooth,

Do all of your fairies have names? Are they individuals (like Baby Tooth) or do they mostly operate as a hive-mind? (I would also like to take the time to apologize for my last molar. I blame the oatmeal.)

Tooth replied:

Baby Tooth is just Jack's nickname for Lilia. And yes, they all do –– they are literally part of me, and I know that I would hate to not have a name. Since they are all smaller entities of me and were once _part_ of me (they still are, just a bit more detached than before), they work as one, but can survive on their own, if that makes sense.

And it's okay with your molar. I understand. :)

Dear Jack,

Did you ever find out what happened to your sister after your death?

Jack replied:

Yes. She grew up, married a man named Anthony Bennett, had many children, and became the great-great-many-times-great grandmother of Jamie and Sophie Bennett. She died peacefully and quietly, but she lived a long, happy life. And as far as I know, she was not turned into a spirit.

DarkHorseBlueSky replied:

Unmentioned canon things like this I cannot answer truthfully, so please try to refrain from asking these kinds of questions. But if it's okay with you, the ones I don't know the answer to I'll just make up.

Dear North,

How did you meet your wife?

North replied:

Mrs. Claus? Oh, yes. Wonderful woman, she is. She was one of my allies back in bandit days, when we were not stealing from each other. She was a beautiful warrior woman named Mary Christmas, second greatest thief in Asia...after me, of course. We first met in combat...she is great with a sword.

Dear Bunnymund,

Giant stone eggs? What?

Bunnymund replied:

Don't blame me. They're cool. And they're good for making sure Jack doesn't slip into the Warren and try anything funny.

Dear Jamie,

How's Pippa doing?

Jamie replied:

Umm...she's...okay...

DarkHorseBlueSky replied:

Aww, he's blushing!

Dear Jack,

So, does Baby Tooth spend time with you, or does she split her time between you and Tooth, or do you just use her as an excuse to visit Tooth a lot?

Jack replied:

Is Tooth around? Okay, no, she isn't.

Don't tell her, but it's the third one...

* * *

From DjinnAtwood:

Dear Jack,

Will you marry me? I'm actually SERIOUS about it.

Jack replied:

Umm...do I know you?

* * *

From The One Named MoonLight:

Dear Sandy,

Can I have some pixie dust-...I mean, dream sand? :D

Sandy replied:

Umm...what might you be using it for?

* * *

The following are all from Frost (Guest):

Dear Jack,

Have you ever shaved your legs on a dare?

Jack replied:

Umm...yeah...? I shaved them...er...on a dare...

DarkHorseBlueSky replied:

Why was there a hesitation between "I shaved them" and "on a dare"...? *raises eyebrows*

Dear Bunny,

You have a tail and it looks like cotton. Get over it.

Bunny replied:

Don't. Mention. The tail.

Dear Tooth,

Do YOU ever brush your teeth?

Tooth replied:

Why, yes! Of course I do! Once after every meal and after eating sugar, like you should too! And remember to floss!

* * *

From ObsidianLove:

Pitch,

Do you have any more clothing rather than just a robe and pants? Do you have like, a suit or armor? Like what you wear when you were the General of the Golden Army? I think you'd look more attractive.

Pitch replied:

I was the general of a GOLDEN ARMY?!

I don't even want to consider what I might have looked like in whatever uniform I might have worn...

And I do have my bathrobe and my pajamas, but no armor or anything.

DarkHorseBlueSky replied:

Hehe...I love truth serum.

* * *

From Guest:

Dear Sandy,

Has anyone ever told you how freaking adorable you are?

Sandy replied:

*blushes* Oh! Um...thank you! :D

* * *

From pineapplefreak:

Dear Pitch,

Do you even remember your daughter?

Pitch replied:

What daughter?

* * *

From Mystichawk:

Dear Pitch –– who else?

Would you possibly consider allowing me to take over being the Boogeyman for a week, just to give you a minor vacation? I promise I would wield the power responsibly. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE?!

Oh, and I'd like to know if you use hair gel. I wanna get my hair like yours!

Pitch replied:

NO.

Frankly I am quite scared of what you might do with shadow/fear/darkness powers.

And yes, I do use hair gel. It takes an hour to get it like this, but it is all worth it whenever I strike a dramatic pose and my profile is outlined by dim light in that dazzling, terrifying way that it does...

* * *

The following are from Ice Queen (Guest):

Dear Jack,

How old are you, in appearance, not like 300 something, but when you died?

Jack replied:

I had just turned fifteen.

DarkHorseBlueSky replied:

At least, that's what I say. Technically, the movie guide says he was eighteen, but seeing as the colonial society would not have allowed an eighteen-year-old to play; he would have been working to provide for his family or get a wife. The oldest he could have been was fifteen, and even then he would have a large part to play in the housekeeping and providing.

Dear Jack,

What's your sister's name?

Jack replied:

Her name was Emma Overland.

DarkHorseBlueSky replied:

Again, that's what I say. Unmentioned canon things are hard to play with.

Dear Jack,

Do you really like-like Tooth?

Jack replied:

Oh! Um...Tooth? *blushes*

Yes...she's beautiful.

* * *

From DarkHorseBlueSky:

Dear Pitch,

What would you do if I did this? *shines bright flashlight into Boogeyman's face*

Pitch replied:

AGH! IT BURNS IT BURNS! TURN IT OFF!


	3. OH MY MOON IT'S AN AUTHOR'S NOTE!

**MAN IN MOON HELP! I'M DROWNING IN AWESOME SUGGESTIONS AND EPIC REVIEWS!**

**I can't believe I already have _42 reviews for 2 chapters! _XD**

***does respective happy dance for reviews, eats chocolate, sits down***

**Okay, I am trying to do this in an organized fashion here. The boatload of suggestions I got in the past twenty-two hours is SERIOUSLY too much for just one installment here.**

**Mystichawk suggested that I wait a week and then sort off all the letters by character, like one chapter especially for Sandy, one chapter especially for Jack, et cetera. If you don't get it, you'll see what I mean when we get there. Like that idea? Yeah, I do too.**

**Well, it's not one week yet.**

**So no update this time.**

**But keep those suggestions coming in...though seriously...try to give mercy. Please?**


	4. PLEASE STOP SENDING LETTERS, SERIOUSLY!

**Guys: so, so, sorry for not updating. I, quite literally, drowned in suggestions.**

**Please don't kill me.**

**And please don't send any more letters.**

**I will work through them a few at a time, and once I'm through those, I'll be done. This is just too much of a workload for me, I'm sorry. If someone else wants to take this idea once I'm finished, then that's fine. They can do that.**

**But I can't go any further than what I already have.**

**So NO MORE LETTERS. If you do send any more, then I'll be forced to ignore them.**

**I would also advise you not to review this chapter.**

**Please.**

**It'll make everything altogether way easier for me.**

**Sorry.**

**~ Sky out**


	5. Letters 1-5

Savarra asked the following questions:

Dear Sandy,

Why are you so quiet?

Do you just like giving people a hard time trying to understand you?

Or is there an actual problem?

Sincerely, Savarra Andul

Sandy replied:

It's because, as I just mentioned in yesterday's letter for the eternally awesome Dear Fanfiction Writers, I don't want to wake up the children.

And Sky, stop hacking our letters.

I don't think it's eternally awesome.

Sky replied:

Oh yes you do.

Sandy replied:

No, I don't.

You're getting a big head.

So shut up, please.

Sky replied:

Okay...

* * *

Dear Sophie,

WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH BUNNY?!

I mean, seriously, that's more than just a little odd.

It's starting to creepy me out...

Sincerely, Savarra Andul

Sophie replied:

Fluffy! Fluffy fluffy bunny!

* * *

FrozenGamer27 asked:

Dear Sandy,

How would you react if a Pikachu farted and burped in front of your face?

Sandy replied:

Uh...no comment... O.O

* * *

TheAnnoyingFanGirl asked the following questions:

Dear Jack Frost,

Do you know anyone by the names Hiccup, Merida, or Rapunzel?

And how's it going with Tooth?

Jack replied:

No, but I _have_ heard of this interesting "Big Four" trend. What kind of name is Hiccup anyway?

And you can keep your little annoying fangirling head in your own beeswax, girl.

Sky replied:

*completely innocent* I didn't know Jack had a Southern accent.

Jack replied:

SKY! STOP TAMPERING WITH OUR LETTERS!

* * *

Dear Mother Nature,

Have you ever tried to talk to Pitch about your past relationship?

Mother Nature replied:

Oh gods, yes.

I tried bringing him to a parenting counselor once.

It didn't turn out particularly good.

* * *

**I WILL REPEAT IT ONCE MORE:**

**DO NOT! NOT! NOT! s****end me any more letters.**

**Thank you.**

**And I'll get the rest of y'all as soon as I can, trust me. :)**


	6. Letters 6-10

Jack Frost lover cadi93 asked the following questions:

Dear Jack and Pitch,

Why do you guys hate each other so much?

They replied:

Jack: Uh...because he tried to kill my first believer?

Pitch: I DID NOT!

Jack: Oh really?

Pitch: I would never harm a child.

Jack: Right.

Pitch: Well, I hate him because...because...he's...because...do you want me to just give you the list?

Jack: Or your diary.

Pitch: I DO NOT HAVE A DIARY!

Jack: Oh really? Then what's that thing in which you write down all of your sadistic thoughts about how much you hate the Guardians?

Pitch: That is my Rant Book.

Jack: Sure.

* * *

Dear Jack,

Why are you so hot and beautiful?

Jack replied:

Because I was originally meant to be the Guardian of hotness and beautifulness.

* * *

Dear Pitch,

Please stop bringing me nightmares! I don't like it and why do I find you so sexy when I read or watch you? You both are so hot I could make out with both of you!

Pitch replied:

*backs away slowly*

Sky replied:

Hehe, he's blushing. Nice job, Cadi.

* * *

Flale asked the following questions:

Dear Bunny,

Don't argue with me, you look like a kargaroo.

Anyway, have any of y'all seen Rise of the Guardians?

Bunny replied:

Grr.

Yes, I've seen it.

I am not that cowardly.

Sky replied:

"Not _that _cowardly"? :}

* * *

Dear Jack,

Why did you get ice powers? And could you make ice animals?

Jack replied:

Because I'm AWESOME.

And anything ice, I could make it. Yeah. 'Cuz I'm awesome.

* * *

**ERMYGAWDS I'M DROWNING IN WARM AND FUZZY FEELZ...**

**Love ya, Ocbooyah. :)**

**But I don't wanna drown ya too much in follower-peoples –– I've been there.**

**Not fun.**

**So you hear that? Don't drown the poor girl! Please! She's cool and we don't want her to drown!**


	7. Letters 11-15 (Matthicus Reigns Supreme)

Matthicus asked the following questions:

Dear Jack,

During your long years of solitude, did you ever resort to talking to your staff?

Jack replied:

Um...maybe just a little bit...

* * *

Dear North,

Is there a reason you don't let the elves eat your cookies?

North replied:

Because they are my cookies and because the elves get hyper if they have sugar.

Hyper elves –– not good thing.

* * *

Dear Bunnymund,

How often (if at all), do you read our fanfictions and just facepalm at our horrible attempts at writing your accent?

Bunny replied:

Your horrible attempts are the reason I don't read fanfiction.

Sky replied:

He's lying.

I found a bunch of BlackIce stories in his browser history.

Bunny replied:

DJKLFhjdslahjkflhklsfla sjdkfldjfkjslhbasjdkhruf qweoabdnfvkbxhjklf SHE DID NOT!

* * *

Dear Tooth,

So we all know your fairies like Jack. And since they're a part of you, does that have anything to do with potential special feelings for him? Or do they just fangirl over teeth that much?

Tooth replied:

To be honest, it's a bit of both. Yes, we do go a little crazy over teeth...but you can't deny that winter spirit though he is, Jack is HOT. XD

* * *

Dear Sandy,

Your hairstyle. Is that a major case of bedhead or what?

Sandy replied:

Yeah, I guess... ^.^


End file.
